against. my silhouette

*headache..*
guess i am too nice leh..till a point that i wonder why am i such a stupid kind hearted-soul..i was already on my way to see doctor on saturday morning and i informed benny about it..yet, jieyuan rang me up..saying the platoon is under strength..need me to go back..imagine..u are sick..the doctor gave you mc..and its a weekend duty..you still need go back mount duty..so i bear with my uncomfortable condition and went back camp..somehow with people knowing or un-knowing about your sickness..they treat as if you are 'kenging' and coming to camp late without drawing arms+giving them the sianzx2 look..i really cun get over the fact that i still mount duty while being sick yet people dun appreciate it..it never pay to be kind..

*strong..front..*
i dun like to give people the sick look so i will try my best to be looking normal..so when qrf was activated to ammo dump for operation..i still put a strong front despite feeling giddy after consuming the medicine..its always like that..when i lost my dad and uncle within two months time..i tried my best not to show people how sad and sacred i was..when i was out-of-love..i swallowed my tears and move on..i cun remember when i started to put up such a strong front..alots of things i took time and experience them..all by myself..sometimes i wonder why cun i just have a buddy or soul mate who can help me to unload some of my burden..someone i can talk to freely and not thinking of the conseqences..its damn tiring..

*burned..*
the question of what i am going to do next in my life is like a time bomb counting down in my brain..i wanted to achieve certain stuffs..yet i seem not to be able..the feeling of zibi is coming back..locking myself up..