i don't know...

a short conversation thru msn.. i could clearly read something bad is gonna come along the way.. my moody self immediately jump out and occupied my being, without even asking for my mind consent.. the head start to spin.. and that spell the start of a massive headache.. so basically, my day is 'destroyed'..

"i don't know.", bek used these 3 words quite often.. i think i have to 'borrow' these words now.. i have absolutely no control over the situation.. maybe not.. i don't know..

blog-hopping.. which i have not be doing for quite awhile much due to the hectic schedule at school. i came across this blog entry..

".... I was wondering how I have forgotten how it feels like to be heartbroken and crushed by the one you love. The sensation of your heart aching while you hug your pillow that's soaked in tears. Can't fall asleep, can't eat, can't think of anything but him. It's as if your life's been twisted and you can't bear the pain and loss. You reminisce about the happy times, where you first went out on a date, where you first said those 3 words, where you had your first birthday celebration, the first present, first kiss, first surprise, first sex, his smile when he's with you. Photos, videos, the first song he sang to you, the next song he sang for you, the taste of his lips, his smell, his............. and the reason why you fall in love.

Not everyone has the privileged to be in love or even have 2 second chance in love. I've notice that a lot of couples tend to quickly fall into the "break up" zone even if they had a little misunderstanding or fight. Why are you giving up so quickly? Must r/s only be based on compatibility or age? Must it always to be only be that person to give in to the other? Does he have to always spend time with you, or only on you? Do I listen to my friends, or do I listen to my lover? Who's to be trusted more?
Love is confusing, love is strong. Love brings you happiness, but not for all.
It brings you up, it makes you fall. So do we give up on love, or..."

credits given to the blogger.

and he also wrote..

"A friend of mine whom I'm glad he came into my life, introduced me and brought a whole new meaning to the word smile. Whenever you're down, after a tiff or a bad emotional breakdown, why don't you try smiling? You know that the emoness would just kill you, so why not try smiling to clear some of those dark clouds that are clogging up your thoughts and thinking and making you have a stormy day. It might not work for you, but it does for me. Another way of mine is to forget or to do things that would make you happy even if it's stupid or silly, like remembering old times when you're out with your best buddies and how you would laugh at all those random jokes and blunders that your friends always do. If you've the time to thinking negatively, why not try doing the opposite. It seems difficult, but it is logical. This are just suggestions so no offense to anyone."


cool stuffs.. why i say so.. its because at this moment.. i need to read such stuffs to push myself and keep moving.. i know i could not pen out my thoughts and feelings this easy.. its all entangled inside my mind..

i still have 2 presentations to go.. on tuesday and wednesday.. i don't feel confident to present them..